WE WEAR THE MASK

WE WEAR THE MASK
We wear the mask that grins and lies,
It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes--
This debt we pay to human guile;
With torn and bleeding hearts we smile
And mouth with myriad subtleties.

Why should the world be over-wise,
In counting all our tears and sighs?
Nay, let them only see us while
We wear the mask.

We smile, but oh great Christ, our cries
To Thee from tortured souls arise.
We sing, but oh the clay is vile
Beneath our feet, and long the mile;
But let the world dream otherwise,
We wear the mask!
by: Paul Laurence Dunbar (1872-1906)

This poem was written by Paul Laurence Dunbar. Dunbar was trying to explain how African Americans dealt with white supremacy. Even though African Americans were smiling on the surface underneath the mask, the lie, they were hurt and wanted to be heard. African Americans were silently screaming for freedom, equality and justice. This message is still relevant today.

I want to look at this poem from a different perspective. We all wear masks every day to deal with our realities. I do it all the time. In my office, I walk around smiling while underneath my mask I am begging for help.

In political settings, I wear the mask of being a knowledgeable hard charging political activist who is willing to participate in any task thrown at me including speaking at various events, protesting, campaign work, lobbying and traveling for days at a time. Underneath my mask, I am tired and resentful because I feel like my work was not being rewarded or acknowledged.

At home, I wear the mask of supermom. I try to do everything by myself. I play the role of family doctor, nurse, cook, mentor, life coach, psychiatrist, tutor, mediator, house cleaner and the bank of mommy. Underneath my mask, I am resentful of myself for allowing this to happen to me. I have ambivalence towards my significant other who seems content with the situation because he benefits. His mother did the same thing.

I dealt with these pressures by eating food. My mask is not limited to my smile or my “sunny” disposition. It also includes my weight. I gained weight because I used food as a comfort. Food was my friend who would not take advantage of me. Food was giving and was not taking away. As my resentment grew so did my size. My weight made me invisible by becoming my barrier and my protection from others who would hurt me.

Today is the second day on my journey. I am taking off my mask by saying food is no longer my friend. I am taking off my mask by admitting that I cannot be everything to everybody, it's ok to say no and yes I need to ask for help from those who love me. I recognize my problem and I have decided to end this abusive relationship. I am admitting like anyone else who is recovering from an abusive relationship that every day is a work in progress. I have to remind myself that food does not say I love you and it cannot conduct a meaningful conversation. Food cannot pay my bills, solve my problems and or comfort me. Only I can do that. Only I can change my life. Today I did cardio for 60 minutes and I was exhausted. I have started to eat clean.

Food is an essential nutrient for life but not for enjoying life.

What mask do you wear? When will you take yours off?